Suddenly, things happen in your life. Priorities change. The extra time you used to have is spent on the computer learning how to apply difficult software to something that should be simple. Hours fly by on the clock, but you've made baby steps toward the goal. You're getting calls to substitute--which is great since child #1 will be looking at colleges soon, and child #2 will get braces by the end of the summer. You're also making day trips to pack up your parents' house which you hope to have on the market by late spring. And, then, you have your regular days of carpool and laundry and groceries and meetings.
Now, instead of having time to bake those delicious cakes, you only have a few minutes. You do have time to open a box of cake mix and throw together cupcakes! This, my friends, is where I am in my running life. I have been reduced to a cupcake. Smile if you want, but the stress over reducing my miles and races has just broken my heart. For over 10 years, I've done the "big" races. Lots of fun and lots of training miles. That equates to lots of time on the road and trails. Suddenly, I am scheduling photo shoots during the time slots where I used to run and run and run. Photo shoots are fun too--they bring me so much joy! God has opened a door for me and plan on holding His hand in this adventure to see it through.
My running girlfriends have planned a trip to Ohio in May to run the Flying Pig Marathon. I have wanted to run this one for a while--just the name is too cute! And the main color they use is PINK! I want to do the entire 26.2 miles--I've done it before. But, my training time has been reduced to a cupcake. I don't have the time that it takes to properly train for the race. I DO have the time to train for the half marathon (aka the cupcake). But you know what stands in my way?
PRIDE and SELFISHNESS.....
There, I've said it! I said it to Hubby on Saturday through tears. I'm past the crying part now. I'm still in the praying part. I know that God hates pride. The selfishness goes right along beside that ugly "P" word. Listen to this scripture from Daniel 4:37--" And those who walk ( or run!!) in pride he is able to humble." It's sifting time sisters! And it ain't pretty! I am taking this to the Lord each day. I know that in His timing and His way, I will be able to rise to the occasion of running a cupcake and being excited and enthusiastic and joyful. He has pulled me out of that type of pit before. And He will do it again if only I truly repent of that ugly "P" word.
So, there you have it. Runner Mom is going to go all the way to Ohio--an 8 hour trip. I need the time with my chickadees to laugh, eat, shop, and run...and of course, talk! I am going all that way and only running half the distance that I normally run. But, I will get through this, and I pray that I will bring Him glory! That is worth all the cupcakes in the world!
Sweet Blessings,
21 comments:
You are just too precious. Seriously!
Giving up the 'P' word is so hard. I know, it's something that God is still working on me with. And it took me forever to realize that the way I reacted to things, or handled things was because of it. I realized that even low self-esteem was pride. That was a hard pill for me to swallow. Anytime we are not looking to God, it's prideful.
I hate even thinking about how prideful I can be!
I will be praying for you as you travel and as you run. Maybe with you only doing half... after you run, you'll meet someone else who just needs to hear about the Lord. I will pray for that too.
Oh my Susie Q, I hear your pain; truly I do. And I understand; truly I do. When we have to surrender something we dearly "love" for the sake of other, very good things, it can be a very difficult bending, friend. As you so eloquently stated, it's a growth point in our journeys. When God moves us into new places of ministry/work/even a change of address, something gets left behind, or at least "shifts."
We are a people quite attached to our old and comfortable. I understand. On a much smaller scale I've not had any time this week to "write" (I suppose this is my "running). My time has been spent on other, good things, and it's bothered me everyday to surrender "my time" to these smaller things.
It all smacks of selfishness, pride, etc.
I think, perhaps, I needed to read your post as much as you needed mine.
Hang in there friend; keep pressing on. Your new surrender will teach you a lot about yourself and our Father as well.
Love you.
peace~elaine
I know how you feel. I've definitely struggled with the P word and I know that I do every day. He will help you! I know it! It'll be a good cupcakes :)
I give you cheers for being able to do the 1/2 marathon. That alone would be a tremendous accomplishment for me. I can't seem to find the time to train for a 10K much less marathon. You are just in a different season of life, and let me tell you, empty nest doesn't make it any easier. I will have subbed all but 1 day this week, and working at church Sat, heading to FL Sun, taking daughter to Dr Monday, Early we will need to leave by 5AM and it will most likely be a long day, headed back home Tues, subbing Wed(I must have been crazy when I said yes). I know a little of how you feel. You are still in my prayers. Jackie
I'm thinking of you and praying.
With love,
Yolanda
Well, just got back a little bit ago from running my mini-cupcake run of 4 miles. I did it for you, sister. I mean that. My body screamed in rebellion, not to mention my hips and knees. Truly, I don't think it will be long before I will have to give up running altogether, and this will make me sad. This body ain't a running body...
I prayed for you that God would bring to completion this work he has begun in you. To stay as we are isn't a moving, growing faith, and I know that you long to grow, sister. So be encouraged... God has a great many things waiting for you as you turn this corner of living and moving forward with him.
peace~elaine
Praying for you. Have fun with the chickadee's!
Blessings, andrea
I completely understand where you're coming from. To me this is God's way of pruning us and making us stronger, but it is so hard sometimes.
Hang in there and go for that 1/2 mile which totally impresses me. I hope you have a wonderful time with your friends...good therapy!
Praying for you Susan. It does sound really painful, but know that God won't let it go to waste. He'll surely use your experience as some sort of teaching tool.
Blessings,
Vickie
Do you remember when we ran Black Mountain? At the re-race meeting several mentioned that we were doing the "short race" and we...well laughed and had a blast anyway.
The blessing is the trip with friends and running any distance that you can train for. Take the 13.1 and smile my friend. :)))
Hey Susan! God seems to be in the pruning mood. Across several blogs I read, I see Him with pruning shears in hand. My own pruning is proving quite painful as well. The beauty of it is that we'll all survive it and come out looking more lovely and godly in the end :)
I pray you have a great time of fellowship on your trip and savor the fact that you can run even half the race. That, in itself, is a tremendous blessing and gift. Love ya girl!!
Good post. And there's nothing wrong with cupcakes. They satisfy a craving the full cake. I'm glad you're doing half the run so you don't feel so deprived of your love (running). I'm running on my treadmill and love it. Well, I'm still at 4 minutes walking, 2 minutes running continuing for 30 minutes.
Sweet blessings,
PP
Susan you are beautiful...you my friend show Jesus in every breath!Thank you for this post...it speaks volumes about what Our God does in us and through us...He changes us into who He created us to be...and in that process somethings have to go...and boy does it hurt and its not fun...but trusting and knowing His end result will be so beautiful...thank you again this sings to my heart today!
Susan:
This was so honest! Doesn't it seem sometimes that when we feel like something dear to us is changing, that in some way we are 'losing something, or accepting a 'lesser' thing? When, in reality, many times it's God's way of gently prodding us into the next thing He already has lined up for us.
Love this.
Blessings!
Sonja
You are still "you" (the 26.2marathon runner) even if no one else knows it while you run the half.
I do get it. The pride issue.
But having to run the 1/2 instead of the whole, is a metaphor.
I think doing it will make you stronger than any benefit you would have gained from running the whole. Even the sense of accomplishment and pride that naturally accompanies it.
And when this season changes...which it will, you may have the time to train for the 26.2again.
Susan, I have been thinking of you lately. I have been wanting to get your advice. This novice runner (me!) is training for a bit of a run herself. -smile-
I'm with a team in training, and I have a coach, but I'm nervous and scared ... and excited and EAGER!
Would love to get your advice sometime. I may have to walk a bit, :-) but I'm determined to cross the finish line. Will tell you more later. ...
xoxo
This is such a heartfelt post and good for you doing the 1/2 (which this "only done a 5K once" girl is still pretty in awe of!). My way of thinking is that our stage of life changes continually and we can either embrace it or struggle with it. I think you've made a great step towards embracing.
And I love girlfriend time above many things, so go and enjoy!
He will help you! I know it! It'll be a good cupcakes
Work from home India
Susan,
Oh, thank you for being so authentic. Although I cannot run a lick...I KNOW how much a part of your life this is and your words reflect the hurt in your heart so clearly. Praying the Lord will fill you up with His Joy and His Peace, praying You will be find precious contentment with your cupcake. Praying He will open your eyes to what other things He has for you...even in Ohio...because He has given you this cupcake...ears to hear, a heart to receive, a willingness to do.
Your words are what I am teaching on this week in my Bible Study. I have my own pride story and I have debated about sharing it because it is hard to share these parts about yourself with others...yet it is so powerful. Your words have shown me what I am to share. As always, God's timing is perfect. Your words are such an example to me.
So thankful for you today,
Wendy
You're no cupcake! You're my hero! I gave up running completely just four years ago and still miss it. I replaced it with hiking and walking, but still. My pride screams too, especially since my husband is training for a marathon. But we all have seasons, they come and go, we have to come and go with them.
You're still a runner and that's what matters.
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